Cant connect electrum wallet or specter desktop to my node

I have managed to connect my ledger to specter desktop but cant connect to my node, and now specter wont open/load when I try to open. So I’ve tried with Electrum, and cant connect to the node ( using the directions on here) I get an error message “proxy connection error” error connecting server.
Am new to this and am stuck at this point. want to be able to make transactions through my leger connected to my own node. thanks for any help